State of America’s fathers: A MenCare advocacy publication

Abstract

Fatherhood in America is changing, and changing fast. Never before have fathers been so visible – in commercials and in the media in general, in research, and in our communities. There’s a reason for that: men are doing more of the care work than ever before in the U.S., and the new research we present here shows that the majority of fathers want to spend even more time with their children. Women, too, want men to take on more of the caregiving. Yet, too often, our society still thinks of fathers as the secondary parent – the helper – and we, as fathers, too often consider or refer to ourselves as such. As this report will show, holding a lower bar for fathers’ caregiving contributions works against our efforts to reach true gender equality at work and at home. Never before has the gap been so large between what parents of all genders want in terms of parental leave and support for their caregiving roles, and what our state and federal governments, workplaces, and social norms permit. It is shameful, for instance, that the U.S. is the only highincome country in the world with no nationally guaranteed paid leave for parents of infants and young children. In fact, we don’t even guarantee unpaid leave after the birth of a child for a great many employees. The situation is not entirely dire. Certain large companies have gotten the message that parents are seeking greater so-called work-life balance, and now offer generous paid leave and flexible work policies to attract top talent. This is clearly a positive trend. But these options are still mostly available only to the highest-income, best-educated fathers and mothers in the country, if at all. Behind the scenes, and in the majority of workplaces in the country, the opportunities and options available to the poorest families and fathers in the U.S. are appalling. In spite of how much we know about the importance of their involvement, our policies toward nonresident fathers tend to be punitive and nearly exclusively focused on their financial contributions, harming children’s well-being. PREFACE Gary Barker, PhD President and CEO, Promundo-US 5 It’s time to push the change forward – to acknowledge and support parents of all genders in their desire to offer the best possible lives for their children. It’s time to achieve full equality in caregiving between women and men, and for families of all sexual orientations and gender identities. It’s time to support the lowest-income families in our country, who face the greatest challenges in supporting their children – in particular, the lowest-income fathers who struggle for adequate employment and income, and who are too often cut off from their children as a result. This support must include the nearly one million fathers and families who suffer under our reprehensively high incarceration rates. What is the state of America’s fathers in 2016? We’ve come a long way toward achieving gender equality in parenting. Fathers are more present in the lives of their children than in the past, and they are doing more of the caregiving. But we have a long way to go. We do not adequately prepare our sons to see themselves as caregivers and as full and respectful partners in sexual and reproductive health. We do not sufficiently support our families, through parent training and other means, to ensure that our children’s lives are free of violence. We have not created a workplace culture that recognizes that being a caring parent and leading a productive work life are not and must not be treated as mutually exclusive. In short, we are not yet a child-friendly and parent-supportive country. However, as we present in this report, we know what we need to do to become one.